"How I Went From Frustrated Student Singer to Thriving Entrepreneur
and Re-discovered my Joy as a Performer..."
I can go into a performance or audition situation -- and fear doesn't even enter my awareness. I am relaxed, confident, and excited to sing for others.
I love what I do and make money doing it!
The joy and momentum I feel to share my gift in a bigger way with the world motivates me to do the practical work I need to do to move my career forward.
But it wasn't always that way--
As a kid I loved to sing more than anything. I'd sing on the coffee table, in the car, and drove my friends crazy singing showtunes running in PE class in Jr. High. When I started performing in front of larger audiences, something changed. An uncontrollable fear kicked in and I would throw up in the bathroom before almost every performance.
When I started studying music during my undergrad at USC's Thornton School of Music, I was happy to be learning what I loved, but there was so much pressure to do everything "right." I was very hard on myself. I would beat myself up when I couldn't hit a high note like I wanted. Singing wasn't so fun anymore.
Everyday I rode an emotional roller coaster wondering whether I was good enough to make it as a singer....
In my senior year, I was stuck at a desk job I didn't like. I lived paycheck to paycheck and didn't earn a single penny from singing.
I thought about what my life would be like as an opera singer-- what I had spent the last 10 years of my life preparing for... I couldn't stand the thought of constant stress of my recent college experience, constantly needing to live up to the perfectionistic standards of the classical world (and myself), not having time for a family, living out of a suitcase, etc.
Then the thought hit me, "I don't want to be an opera singer, it's too much-- and it isn't enough." And I started crying as all my pent up, unspoken desires came bubbling up inside me.
I wanted to have a family. I wanted to write and sing my OWN music. I wanted to stretch beyond what I thought an opera singer would do. I wanted to help other people in a tangible way. I was good at so many other things and I was taught that if I didn't pursue opera 100%, I wasn't going to make it, but if I didn't do that, then what was all my work for?
It was a life-changing conversation I had with myself that day.
I decided that it was time for me to stop doing what was expected of me based on my past and do something that really called to me on a deeper level....
So I invested in a Master's degree program in Spiritual Psychology.... During the program I used my singing career (and my relationship to myself as a singer) as an experimentation ground. I had to confront all my fears about whether I was "good enough." I looked at why I felt like I had to sacrifice everything for my career in order to prove that I was dedicated to it, and I found and confronted the harsh voice of my inner critic.
My relationship with myself started healing. I recognized that I didn't need to "prove" myself-- to somehow earn my place on the planet by my accomplishments. I realized that most of my thinking was based on inaccurate information or things I decided back when I was just a kid and didn't know any better. And it was causing me unnecessary pain!
When I let these limiting thoughts go, an amazing shift occurred inside me and my career skyrocketed.
I was cast in a one-woman opera at a professional opera company. I was so energetic and enthused, I built my own website, got new headshots, new business cards, and produced my first professional CD.
I wasn't afraid to put myself out there anymore. I felt unstoppable!
I booked gigs as the featured soloist with 2 orchestras the following year and have been invited back several times. I started learning guitar and writing my own songs and produced a CD of my original music.
The thing that I'm the most grateful for is that I fell in love with singing again. Having a performing career doesn't have to be hard-- for me, it's one of the most meaningful, satisfying parts of my life. My singing career makes me feel more alive.
I started coaching other musicians.
Opera singers, voice teachers, actors, conductors, piano players, guitar players.... all of them came to me with similar concerns. My first two-day group workshop was filled with experiential activities, including a performance section where we worked through fears coming up in the moment. People made huge transformations that day and have gone on to pursue their careers with a new determination and inner strength.
I know there are other performers suffering the way I had.
I know talented people who gave up any kind of performing because it was too stressful.
There was no one there to give them a road-map.
I know people who went on "American Idol" and had their dreams shattered when they weren't chosen, so they gave up all together-- because they didn't have the tools to deal with the rejection. I know singers, artists, and guitar players who were working desk jobs yearning to get their music out there, but feel hopeless and stuck.
It's natural to feel that way, but you don't have to feel stuck there.
Even though "making it" in music doesn't come with an instruction manual, I want to share what I've learned in running my own business as a free-lance singer, so that it can be a little easier for you...
Does this sound like what you want?...
If you're looking for better results in your performing career.If you want to make more money from your creative endeavors.
If you just want to feel better about yourself and your performing,
I have some great resources for you below....
Your first step is to enter your name and primary email address in the box below. You'll receive my free report on how to write irresistible performance invites and receive a subscription to my Ezine with down-to-earth strategies to help you reach your performing goals, while feeling good about it!
I'm so excited to support you! And I look forward to getting to know you.
To your creative success~
Cheri
The Musician's Mentor